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Being a boring friend

Being a boring friend

A friend for over 10 years has been making excuses not to see me, saying she’s busy – we’re both in our early 50s. Six months ago, a lady our age with a wealthy husband moved in next door to her. My friend has become far more glamorous and is now going to salsa dancing classes with her neighbour. I’m rather ungainly, with two left feet, but I still feel hurt and left out. My husband thinks I’m being too sensitive and overreacting. But I’m feeling frumpy, boring and rejected.

This episode says more about the character of your fair-weather friend than it does about you. However, there is a note of longing in your letter. You might outwardly give the impression that the high life isn't for you while secretly hankering after a bit more excitement. Salsa classes have been dangled in front of you, bringing this yearning into focus, hence your dissatisfaction. All you may need is some practice to cure your two-left-footedness. Why not join a beginners' class until you feel a bit more confident? If salsa is really not for you, choose something fun that you like doing and then invite your friend along. If it breaks the budget, do it once a month, not once a week, and enjoy a little sparkle in your life.
Published February 2006

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